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Last year, I decided to hide this blog.

But now it’s up and running.

Because.

 

Anecdotes#1

@451:

I was medicating a 6-year old patient and I was to give him erceflora. He screamed and produced such big, fat tears that I was considering pinching his cheeks til he cries some more. Of course it’s all in my mind. I could not do that, could I? (Though I wish) Anyway, sometimes, my sharp mouth gets the best of me and the words just rolled off like an oil to a surface. So here’s how the convo went.

Me: (entered the room) Time for meds! (I announced perkily—a little perkier than I would have normally done)

Patient: (crying and making ugly face) waaaaahhhhhh..NOOOOOOO!!!! I don’t want to!!!!!!!!!!

Me: (patience at the last stretch) Why? You want to stay in the hospital forever? You don’t want to go out and play?

Patient: (still crying) waaaahhhhh. I don’t want that medicine! It’s not delicious!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: (that does it!—my mouth moved on its accord) Of course! It isn’t delicious! It isn’t cake, is it?

Okay, so it was laced with sarcasm. The poor kid didn’t even get it. LOL. I think it was kind of funny. GAAAAHHHHH.

4C

I’ve been laterally transferred to pediatric department which I hate by the way. Pediatrics was never my forte. I do not struggle with it but I reckon I am more effective with adults. I know and understand that nurses should be flexible, but despite flexibility, I know that I more capable dealing with adult patients.

For one, pediatrics test my patience which I would say not that much. The parents are more like the patients and mind you, most parents of our pedia patients are really ‘toxic’.

Two, it’s freaking difficult to medicate pediatric patients, they scream, they cry, they wriggle free, they move a lot (dislodging the IVF in the process) and the vomit the meds you give them. Sometimes, if you’re really lucky, you become the recipient of the disgusting vomitus.

Three, the attendings are overly toxic.

I didn’t expect that I would say this, but I miss 3c terribly.

And I kept on loitering on the 3rd floors (where 3c is).

SIGH—

And I blame one person for this: J.B. (I really hate you).

Bad News

My forced leave wasn’t granted.

I hate our supervisor.

And now I will be transferred laterally.

Gaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate you!!!

——

To: Resurrection Tanduyan @ 365

I pray for strength. To endure what will come.

I pray  that you will find peace.

——

Thank you to room 360.

Inspiration

I have one of the best profession in the world.

I touch lives.

And even if my patients do not remember my name, for me what’s important is I have been nothing but kind and compassionate.

And right now, I want to find inspiration in little things because if I don’t I will surely succumb to my own whining and bitching making all these effort a waste.

Hence, I made a poem, one bored NOC shift. (There’s an inside joke between the line but I think nobody would really get it except me.)

Without further adieu:

A Nurse
(c) dcec 02Aug10

Epitome of grace under pressure,
we never surrender.
Despite our own troubles
we maintain a calm front.
In times of distress,
we readily submit to the call.

A noble profession
where kindness and compassion mingle.
Warm hands that touch lives,
A gentle voice that heals,
A brother or a sister,
A friend or a family,
To our patients:
WE ALWAYS CARE.

——

It’s the first time I’ve made a poem with reference to my work.

I want to be inspired everyday I wake up.

Knowing that my patients need me, that I touch their lives. It’s enough. Well, it should be.

To the patient @ room 377 (Fe Pineda). This is for you. Thank you for the kind words and appreciation that most patients lack (just because they are paying us). Thank you for letting me see a glimpse of an inspiration. Thank you for re-awakening my heart, why I am in this profession. Thank you. And I do hope you remember me. And even if you don’t, it’s enough that I was appreciated.

Trash Talk

I know, given the whining and bitching I say and post here I should quit my job.

But honestly, I really do like it when I feel I’m needed by my patients.

Yesterday was the departmental meeting and the supervisor was such a hypocrite. I don’t really like her and there’s no point in talking about her.

But all she talks about were bunch of craps.

to quote her: “We should obey first before we complain.”

Madam, we are not the military. We are in the hospital business. Of course, it wasn’t written in my contract. Maybe it was but it was nondescript? Whatever. I could care less about it. But I was irked by how she said those. The military can obey all they want because that’s part of their job. Asking a question is different from complaining. So I think Madam you should know the operative definitions of the words you are using. (I myself is not a grammarian) but I think you should check your language when you speak to us. I lost my respect for you. You lost it all with that stupid statement. Yes, we obey but I think we retain the right to question.

I’m not an ass-kisser. I always wanted to be fair. And I know better than to judge you but it;s obvious how you try to make your way up by kissing those asses.

I don’t think I can last in such unhealthy working environment.

Soon…

Yes

There is so much I need to know in my profession and most of the time, I see these different medical cases and wonder the management.

Therefore:

I will start re-reading my Saunder’s come August 1 while preparing my documents and thinking/organizing some scattered part of my brain.

Please Lord,

Let this be ‘it’.

Some Ugly Truth

Sometimes I feel like I don’t like my job at all, but in all honesty and sincerity, I like my job, it’s the administrators that I don’t like. There are times when I want to shift careers and find a new hobby. I tried imagining other jobs that will suit me but nothing comes into my mind except being a nurse.

But because the reality opened my eyes, it has become almost unbearable to like what I’m doing.

I missed working at DMC even as a volunteer. Sure I wasn’t paid but the gratefulness that the patients and family members show was more than enough.

It’s been a while since the last time I feel so appreciated.

People in DaDoc do not know what “Thank you” is. Just because they pay they think it’s enough reason not to be thankful. Patients in DaDoc lack the sincerity that less affluent patients of DMC had.

And the saddest thing, I’ve learned to live with it. If  I was shown with sincere appreciation then I give my sincere attention and care, but patients who bitch at me, demean my profession get nothing but the mechanical ‘care’ I was supposed to give.

I understand that being sick is no joke but is it really enough reason to be mean to the nurses?

I hate mean patients.

But as a rule of thumb, nurses do not get mean except maybe when it’s too much.

I wish patients would be more understanding.

Nurses are humans, they are not robot.

And what I hate the most is that the administration and even the nursing service are the ones that downgrade the nurses. This is a sad fact.

I hope to resign next month  because I’m so fed up with this crap I’m dealing with at work.

Call me a whiny bitch.

But I was never a bitch while I’m being appreciated.

That’s all I’m asking.

I hope everyone can be a human ‘being’.

Rambles++

Vacation leave is heaven for over-worked and tired nurse like me.

In fact, it was so blissful that I ALMOST forgot that I HAVE TO GO BACK. What a bummer. >:/

June 6-June 25 . 20 days of rest and fun.

I wished I won’t have to go back because I’m tired of the maltreatment of my freaking employer. But I have to, otherwise, I should have resigned. Basically, I can’t be jobless. I mean who will feed me? I told this to my mother and she was like “Well, you can resign but you have to feed yourself despite being jobless.” My mother is a cruel woman T___T But rambling aside, I don’t think I can survive the boredom without work and besides, it’s so freaking hard to look for a new job these days (especially here in the Philippines). So yeah, BETTER THAN NOTHING.

These past few days we’ve had several interesting patients. The most interesting being the fugitive from a foreign county. He was wanted for fraud, robberies, illegal possession of firearms among other criminal offenses. So just before he was arrested, he struck a knife on his neck however he was apprehended and was brought to the hospital. He was hand cuffed to the bed and restrained. But I still got scared. 0____0

And no matter how many months has passed, I realized I still disliked G and S. And I just can’t stand their presence.

Life is funny that way.

And I really, really want to quit so bad but I can’t unless I have Plan B.

The Hospital Dirt#1

What is quality care?

Quality care is a form of care delivered in excellence.

Do we have that in my hospital?

No.

But we try to. Because we signed up for that. That’s our job, giving quality care but sadly, as much as we want to give the excellent service, it just wouldn’t be at par with first class hospitals. The hospital I’m working at is a private tertiary hospital, the best of its kind in the locality (as the institution claims), but the truth is, it’s all facade. The hospital is short-staffed. Nurses are over worked and underpaid which is rather stupid.

Nurse-patient ratio?

Well in my floor,

AM shift 1Nurse:6 Patients (minimum); 9 Patients (maximum)

PM shift: basically the same

NOC Shift: 1 Nurse: 8 patients (minimum); 12 patients (maximum)

You are 1 person, imagine having 5 out of your patient wanting something from you—from changing  the linens to trivial things such as defective AC. Every patient thinks he/she is the most important patient of all. These patients are mostly IMPATIENT, rude and ungrateful. Imagine working in an environment like that. The nurse tries to explain the cause of delay and it the reason is brushed off. We are like professional dirtbags. Mostly misunderstood. The office of the Nursing Service is anti-nurse.

It isn’t about being paid. (I don’t even being paid right.)

It is about humane treatment that the hospital is claiming they have.

SCREW that.

It isn’t true AT ALL.

Humane treatment is for customers only aka patients.

It doesn’t matter if the nurse was verbally abused by patients.

It doesn’t matter if the nurse is tired and literally sick so long as the manning is enough.

One nurse does not matter.

The hospital is acting all arrogant about it because they don’t need to advertise their need for new nurses, with the statistics showing more unemployed nurses than actually employed ones, finding someone to replace you isn’t hard.

So what’s the compromise?

The nurse stays.

Despite all the bad things, because she needs a job.

But the nurse ceases to be a NURSE.

She learns to compromise. She learns to work smarter.

She learns that if she’s going to get the short end of the stick it’s better to be flexible and work according to how much she is paid.

So, patients, I’m sorry to say this:

Screw EXTRA MILE service. You will have none of those. You will only use me as I was paid. Unfortunately it’s a meager amount so suck up your demands, I won’t bend down.

You can complain all you want to the administration.

I don’t care.

My job starts and ends after the endorsement.

No more no less.